Post by Gary on Mar 28, 2007 14:35:24 GMT -5
I don't know if real geeks ever have cared that much about their front lawn, but this one has finally had it with having the neighborhood eyesore. My spring resolution this year is to get my front yard landscaped in such a way that neighbors driving by will not be forced the look away in shame.
The first thing that needed to be done was what I thought would be the easiest: mowing the lawn. So I went into the garage, wiped the cobwebs off my lawnmower and proceeded to start the thing right up. Or rather, attempt to start it right up. Nope. Not happening. Apparently, if you don't use a lawnmower for several months, they don't like to work.
I called around to see who fixes/tunes up lawnmowers. The local hardware stores don't, the lawn mower shop a quarter of a mile from my house has gone out of business, and the only other one was located in a very strange location - directly across the street from my office. One would think that I would have thought of them first, since everytime I look out my office window, there they are.
However, I wanted to mow the lawn right then and not wait for several days. Which meant one thing: time to borrow a lawnmower from one of the neighbors. And with gas prices hovering around $2.50 a gallon, I sweetened the request by offering to pay for gas. Lo and behold, my next-door neighbor (the one I talked into taking over as Neighborhood Association President after I stepped down last year) was more than happy to loan me his motorized grasscutter.
An hour later, I had a very nice, very level, very green yard that had a striking resemblance to a real grass covered field. But this was only the beginning. Simply mowing the lawn isn't really landscaping. I armed myself with a branch-cutter, a hedge-trimmer, and a weed-wacker and began looking for things to cut, trim and wack.
First the nandinas that were taller than I am got wacked down to size (they grow back thicker and fuller if you prune them every year, I recently discovered), then the forest thicket on the side of the house was cleared to point where I discovered an old metal trashcan, half a six-pack of beer, a large plastic jug filled with some unknown substance, and the lost civilization of Atlantis.
They seemed annoyed, but that's a different story.
Next up was clearing the driveway. Yes, I actually have a driveway that wraps around to the back of the house, but no one really knew this since it was overgrown with jungle coverage reminiscent of the late Oligocene period. The combination of branch-cutter, hedge-trimmer, and weed-wacker worked well, and after several hours I had the beginnings of a nice city wall in front of the lawn. Visualize a ten foot wide, three foot tall, three foot deep wall of various sized green growing things and you have my new front hedge.
Which brings me to the next stage of my landscaping overhaul. Mulch. Pine bark mulch, to be exact. The nandina in front of the big bay windows were just growing out of the green ground cover that passes for a lawn. Not anymore. I am in the process of raking out the whole area and am going to cover it with mulch. Plus, I am going to create a mulch circle around the trunks of the two very large maple trees in the front yard. Not only does this look nice, but it means I'll have that much less yard to mow next week, always a good thing in my book.
After that comes the chainsaw. You see, there are still some trees and things that need to go. But I'll get to that story when it's time... or you could just read the 911 transcript when my neighbors see a geek carrying a chainsaw in one hand and a bottle of liquor in the other and do what all sane neighbors do - put their houses on the market immediately after phoning for the police, the Department of Homeland Security and the Marines.
The first thing that needed to be done was what I thought would be the easiest: mowing the lawn. So I went into the garage, wiped the cobwebs off my lawnmower and proceeded to start the thing right up. Or rather, attempt to start it right up. Nope. Not happening. Apparently, if you don't use a lawnmower for several months, they don't like to work.
I called around to see who fixes/tunes up lawnmowers. The local hardware stores don't, the lawn mower shop a quarter of a mile from my house has gone out of business, and the only other one was located in a very strange location - directly across the street from my office. One would think that I would have thought of them first, since everytime I look out my office window, there they are.
However, I wanted to mow the lawn right then and not wait for several days. Which meant one thing: time to borrow a lawnmower from one of the neighbors. And with gas prices hovering around $2.50 a gallon, I sweetened the request by offering to pay for gas. Lo and behold, my next-door neighbor (the one I talked into taking over as Neighborhood Association President after I stepped down last year) was more than happy to loan me his motorized grasscutter.
An hour later, I had a very nice, very level, very green yard that had a striking resemblance to a real grass covered field. But this was only the beginning. Simply mowing the lawn isn't really landscaping. I armed myself with a branch-cutter, a hedge-trimmer, and a weed-wacker and began looking for things to cut, trim and wack.
First the nandinas that were taller than I am got wacked down to size (they grow back thicker and fuller if you prune them every year, I recently discovered), then the forest thicket on the side of the house was cleared to point where I discovered an old metal trashcan, half a six-pack of beer, a large plastic jug filled with some unknown substance, and the lost civilization of Atlantis.
They seemed annoyed, but that's a different story.
Next up was clearing the driveway. Yes, I actually have a driveway that wraps around to the back of the house, but no one really knew this since it was overgrown with jungle coverage reminiscent of the late Oligocene period. The combination of branch-cutter, hedge-trimmer, and weed-wacker worked well, and after several hours I had the beginnings of a nice city wall in front of the lawn. Visualize a ten foot wide, three foot tall, three foot deep wall of various sized green growing things and you have my new front hedge.
Which brings me to the next stage of my landscaping overhaul. Mulch. Pine bark mulch, to be exact. The nandina in front of the big bay windows were just growing out of the green ground cover that passes for a lawn. Not anymore. I am in the process of raking out the whole area and am going to cover it with mulch. Plus, I am going to create a mulch circle around the trunks of the two very large maple trees in the front yard. Not only does this look nice, but it means I'll have that much less yard to mow next week, always a good thing in my book.
After that comes the chainsaw. You see, there are still some trees and things that need to go. But I'll get to that story when it's time... or you could just read the 911 transcript when my neighbors see a geek carrying a chainsaw in one hand and a bottle of liquor in the other and do what all sane neighbors do - put their houses on the market immediately after phoning for the police, the Department of Homeland Security and the Marines.
They worry about giving me chainsaws too :?
