ScarlettP
Senior Forumite
Cookie Fairy
Posts: 4,856
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Post by ScarlettP on Aug 25, 2009 7:18:19 GMT -5
I started this same thread on another forum and it's been pretty funny. I'll run it up this flag pole and see if anyone salutes. What's the lamest pick up line you've ever heard? Or that you were so drunk or stupid that you thought it would actually work? I mean the ones that were so bad, you (or the other person) might as well have said "Just shoot me now." Example: Not to long ago, a person that I had barely spoken to got the impression that I'm far more 'easy' than I actually am. (Don't know how THAT could have happened!) Anyway, I agreed to have lunch with him. He leans over the table and asks "Do you shave or do I need to bring a weed whacker?"  Does that line ever work? Even on a SINGLE woman??? And he wonders why I don't speak to him anymore. |
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BlackFox
Senior Forumite
Stay thirsty my friends
Posts: 4,496
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Post by BlackFox on Aug 25, 2009 7:32:58 GMT -5
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
"scrambled"
I make some great scrambled eggs.
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JC
Full Forumite
No Messiah
Posts: 1,919
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Post by JC on Aug 25, 2009 9:15:03 GMT -5
Don't use them....my beauty is all I need ;D
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Jay
Senior Forumite
Captain Cupcake
Posts: 5,070
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Post by Jay on Aug 25, 2009 11:15:56 GMT -5
He leans over the table and asks "Do you shave or do I need to bring a weed whacker?" Wow... That's flattering... That guy is clueless.... |
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Kordax
Senior Forumite
Hank Rearden
Posts: 2,537
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Post by Kordax on Aug 25, 2009 11:27:31 GMT -5
Never used "pickup lines" which might explain why girls who were objects of my secret affections were never picked up by me, at least.
On the other hand, I remember a HS classmate (boarding student) who was & is one of the shrewdest operators on the planet. He always prepared a detailed outline in advance of the telephone conversations he planned to have with prospective love interests. Didn't matter what the girl's interests were, this guy was 20 steps ahead of them ALWAYS. If she liked poetry, he was prepared to quote lines from scores of poets at a second's notice. If she was an outdoors type, he'd speak with authority & ease about trails he'd never hiked. If she was an athlete (usually swimming, basketball, softball, or tennis back in those days), he'd know all about her teammates, coaches & trends in a particular sport to name a few. And whatever the girl's interest, he'd be able to quote apt passages from current magazines & periodicals, from newspapers, from technical sources or from historical sources -- nothing was left to chance & very few girls could resist his "presence" -- he had hundreds of "lines" ready to insert into the conversation. "If she says this, that's when I say that." And like a high-powered anti-labor union lawyer sitting at a negations table, his game plan anticipated every reaction a girl could possibly have to something he said and always, ALWAYS used her response to his advantage.
I remember visiting friends in the dorm & asked where ____________ was. Another guy said, "Steve is about to call _____________ -- don't go near him; he's working out all the last minute details of what he's going to say."
Mere pickup lines are for sissies once you've witnessed the work product of a masterful, game/set/match planning wizzard & seduction artist like this guy ....
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frayne
Senior Member
Shortsighted rocket scientist
Posts: 648
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Post by frayne on Aug 25, 2009 11:58:23 GMT -5
Just wondering what your reply was ? Did you tell him to bring his Binford 400 super reciprocating, automatic line advancing trimmer or merely spill his drink on him and walk ?
How about some pick up lines from the gals ?
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julia
Full Member
Monkey Milkface's Mama
Posts: 436 
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Post by julia on Aug 25, 2009 12:25:00 GMT -5
Never used "pickup lines" which might explain why girls who were objects of my secret affections were never picked up by me, at least. On the other hand, I remember a HS classmate (boarding student) who was & is one of the shrewdest operators on the planet. He always prepared a detailed outline in advance of the telephone conversations he planned to have with prospective love interests. Didn't matter what the girl's interests were, this guy was 20 steps ahead of them ALWAYS. If she liked poetry, he was prepared to quote lines from scores of poets at a second's notice. If she was an outdoors type, he'd speak with authority & ease about trails he'd never hiked. If she was an athlete (usually swimming, basketball, softball, or tennis back in those days), he'd know all about her teammates, coaches & trends in a particular sport to name a few. And whatever the girl's interest, he'd be able to quote apt passages from current magazines & periodicals, from newspapers, from technical sources or from historical sources -- nothing was left to chance & very few girls could resist his "presence" -- he had hundreds of "lines" ready to insert into the conversation. "If she says this, that's when I say that." And like a high-powered anti-labor union lawyer sitting at a negations table, his game plan anticipated every reaction a girl could possibly have to something he said and always, ALWAYS used her response to his advantage. I remember visiting friends in the dorm & asked where ____________ was. Another guy said, "Steve is about to call _____________ -- don't go near him; he's working out all the last minute details of what he's going to say." Mere pickup lines are for sissies once you've witnessed the work product of a masterful, game/set/match planning wizzard & seduction artist like this guy .... And he's in politics now, right? |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Aug 25, 2009 12:34:07 GMT -5
> How do you like your eggs in the morning?
> "scrambled"
The way I heard it, the second line was, "Fertilized"?
The last time I offered to buy some sweet young thing a drink, spouse got really ticked off. Wimmin. I just don't understand 'em.
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Jay
Senior Forumite
Captain Cupcake
Posts: 5,070
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Post by Jay on Aug 25, 2009 12:39:50 GMT -5
> How do you like your eggs in the morning? > "scrambled" The way I heard it, the second line was, "Fertilized"? I think you mean... unfertilized  |
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Post by Warkitty on Aug 25, 2009 13:25:17 GMT -5
I once upon a time sat in someone's lap suggesting we talk about the first thing that came up.
The line was a success.
Worst pickup someone used on me was "I'd like you to ride your motorcycle over my back" He was drunk and apparently thought I'd be turned on by that. Men are weird.
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Kordax
Senior Forumite
Hank Rearden
Posts: 2,537
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Post by Kordax on Aug 25, 2009 14:09:05 GMT -5
And he's in politics now, right?
University department head -- one of the world's leading authorities on ancient Sanskrit texts & eastern religions ....
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Post by LimitedRecourse on Aug 25, 2009 16:19:06 GMT -5
I'm usually breaking hearts by announcing to the throngs of lovely ladies that I am happily married.
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frayne
Senior Member
Shortsighted rocket scientist
Posts: 648
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Post by frayne on Aug 25, 2009 19:51:18 GMT -5
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Post by Tsavodiner on Aug 25, 2009 20:50:14 GMT -5
So, how DID he like it?
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Post by daworm on Aug 25, 2009 21:41:45 GMT -5
Nice shoes....
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Post by gridbug on Aug 26, 2009 11:59:12 GMT -5
Ditto. That is probably why I don't have a gf... Cat my dear, none of us will be impressed unless you have a story about you trying a line that failed.  |
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Post by Warkitty on Aug 26, 2009 13:16:34 GMT -5
Happens all the time, Grid. Sometimes all I get out is "hi" before the dude walks off without a backward glance.
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Post by gridbug on Aug 26, 2009 13:52:31 GMT -5
Gay bars don't count |
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Post by LimitedRecourse on Aug 26, 2009 15:53:37 GMT -5
If she would first drop the entrails of the last guy who was less than a gentleman to her, she may have greater success.
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ScarlettP
Senior Forumite
Cookie Fairy
Posts: 4,856
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Post by ScarlettP on Aug 27, 2009 5:56:17 GMT -5
ahhhh.... That one WORKS! |
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joedog
Senior Forumite
Posts: 2,830
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Post by joedog on Aug 27, 2009 9:04:36 GMT -5
I would ask to buy you a drink but I would rather just talk and see if your mind is as beautiful as you are.
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Post by gridbug on Aug 27, 2009 11:02:12 GMT -5
I would ask to buy you a drink but I would rather just talk and see if your mind is as beautiful as you are. It figures JoeDog would post this - zombies love you for your brains |
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Jay
Senior Forumite
Captain Cupcake
Posts: 5,070
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Post by Jay on Aug 27, 2009 11:59:13 GMT -5
ahhhh.... That one WORKS! With or without the missing part? |
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Laura Rice
Senior Forumite
Just full of sass and sunshine!
Posts: 3,264
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Post by Laura Rice on Aug 27, 2009 12:11:59 GMT -5
A guy walks up at Bike Week and says, "You have beautiful toes!"  Right! He never did ask if I was married... |
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Post by Warkitty on Aug 27, 2009 12:27:03 GMT -5
I've forgotten most of the bad lines I heard when younger. Lines like "If I told you you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?"
"Wanna go back to my place for beer, pizza and sex, or do you have something against pizza and beer?"
"Would you marry me for a day?"
None of these worked, of course.
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Bob
Global Moderator
Bird Geek
Posts: 7,029
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Post by Bob on Aug 27, 2009 13:06:54 GMT -5
I tell girls they have nice shoes all the time never trying to pick them up. I have a hot one at home, two would be silly....
One of the funnier lines I've heard "Can I buy you a drink? or would you rather just have the money.."
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Post by cadillacdude1975 on Aug 28, 2009 18:17:19 GMT -5
i read somewhere a while back that one of the worst ones ever spoken was "i lost my number, can i have yours?"
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Post by daworm on Aug 28, 2009 20:47:19 GMT -5
The trick is knowing who to say it to!
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Bob
Global Moderator
Bird Geek
Posts: 7,029
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Post by Bob on Aug 28, 2009 23:43:45 GMT -5
The trick is knowing who to say it to! I would worry about the person that said "Nice shoes" to me.... |
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Post by pictureman on Aug 29, 2009 5:56:33 GMT -5
Yeah, he may be wanting to borrow them.
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