|
Post by Justin Thyme on Dec 5, 2007 15:47:59 GMT -5
I don't like having conversations interrupted. I often go out to eat with my wife just to have a decent conversation without the interruptions from the household. I think a waiter ought to understand that and not interrupt my conversations to ask me if I want more tea. Instead I believe the waiter should just fill my tea glass or wait for a lull in conversation to ask.
I'm interested in how others feel about conversations being interrupted by wait staff.
|
|
|
Post by xterragirl on Dec 5, 2007 16:08:31 GMT -5
It's annoying to be interrupted but if that's the least thing that happens, who cares?
|
|
|
Post by mightejoe on Dec 5, 2007 16:49:41 GMT -5
I don't expect the server to read my mind. I'd rather have obtrusive rather than not show up at all. Also, I think it depends on the situation and the establishment.
|
|
Dreamwebber
Senior Forumite
Denise Who?
Burning up my minutes since 1973
Posts: 2,181
|
Post by Dreamwebber on Dec 5, 2007 17:39:28 GMT -5
I would much prefer to be interupted while talking then with my mouth full
|
|
whimdriven
Full Member
Dagny Taggert
Minimum Rage
Posts: 448
|
Post by whimdriven on Dec 5, 2007 17:42:44 GMT -5
Agreed, Dreamy!
|
|
|
Post by LimitedRecourse on Dec 5, 2007 17:56:50 GMT -5
I think a GOOD waiter/ress would be observant enough to determine if the conversation was one that an interuption would not hurt. If you are cutting up about a co-worker, no problem. If you are gazing dreamily into your tablemates eyes, I think "more tea" is really not your priority at this point anyway.
|
|
|
Post by daworm on Dec 5, 2007 21:41:07 GMT -5
If they stand there and wait for a pause in the conversation (and if they are standing there, I will pause), then I don't mind. But don't interrupt me in the middle of a sentence!
|
|
Milk
Senior Member
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Posts: 545
|
Post by Milk on Dec 6, 2007 0:51:58 GMT -5
When I waited tables (see the story in the Tipping Thread) I would usually stand and wait to be noticed, if I had the time.
You have to understand that it is the waiter's job to make sure you have what you need. If the waiter doesn't ask, then he's percieved as uncaring and negligent. You can't win. So I would err on the side of interrupting and try to be as unobtrusive as possible.
Now, if you're makin' out or something, then I will point and yell, "Hey man, it's a family restaurant, not a make-a-family restaurant." (true story)
|
|
|
Post by xterragirl on Dec 6, 2007 6:43:58 GMT -5
In the case of some, that might be all night. I just think it's ridiculous to think that someone should stand there and wait for you to stop talking for two seconds to ask you if you need anymore drink.
|
|
Milk
Senior Member
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Posts: 545
|
Post by Milk on Dec 6, 2007 8:39:34 GMT -5
Exactly, Xterra, why make the waiter hang out like a doofus when a little shake of the head speaks volumes?
So here's some advice: If you're out for the long romantic dinner, tell your waiter. Not only will they leave you alone, but you might get some kind of special dessert or rose or somesuch during the meal to make it extra romantic.
At Ed's I would, upon request (and a fat tip didn't hurt either) sing an Elvis tune for a romancing couple as a special dedication, or leave them completely alone if that's what they asked for. A little communication goes a long way, doesn't cost you anything but a few seconds of your time, and saves a TON of aggrivation on everybody's part.
|
|
|
Post by Justin Thyme on Dec 6, 2007 9:11:45 GMT -5
I don't expect anyone to stand and wait. Hovering can be just as annoying. I don't expect a waiter not to ask me something regarding service when I'm leaned back in my chair laughing or in apparent light conversation. Body language ought to tell anyone, though, that when I'm leaning forward listening intently and my dinner partner is also wrapped up in this conversation that this time around the dinning hall isn't the time to ask if I want more tea.
And usually I'll let it pass with just an annoyed look on my face and it won't reflect in the tip. It's just an annoyance and the fewer tiny annoyances I have the more likely I am to go beyond the 20% tip I generally give for good service.
What really gets me is when the manager interrupts the conversation just to ask if we are enjoying our meals. This is completely unnecessary.
I've noticed that the waiter at the Atlanta Fish Market has never interrupted a conversation to ask if I wanted more tea. It happens all the time at O'Charley's and Chilli's. Well, not so much at the Chili's near the house anymore. Come to think of it, I don't think it has never happened at any of the nicer Chinese places I visit.
|
|
rossbilly
Senior Member
Buy the Calendar!
Posts: 542
|
Post by rossbilly on Dec 6, 2007 10:06:57 GMT -5
Without reading other's postings on this, my initial reaction is that the question leaves a lot of possible answers. There's a myriad of variables why I can't simply say yes/no/maybe/whatever. That said:
Basically, a very skilled server will not have to ask, BUT the world is not filled with experts. Each of us is at various learning stages of what EVER we do, and it is absolutely a given that someone else knows more about a given subject than we do. This includes the pope/king/president/you/me, etc. Can we truly expect 5 star service from a 1-3 star chain restaurant?
If the person is putting forth the effort & seems to truly want to be helpful, then I don't mind at all. I can't really blame the person for 'not yet having gained experience', and that is precisely when management should be involved (IF I were that unhappy). There is no way for any of us to be an expert at everything - why should I expect perfection from anyone else, when I can hardly accomplish it myself?
If they are trying to be helpful (without blurting out impolitely), then I wouldn't mind the interruption. I can be a picky bastard some days & may have JUST gotten the drink exactly the way I like it... why would I fault someone for trying to respect that?
|
|
|
Post by mightejoe on Dec 6, 2007 10:43:04 GMT -5
From JT: I've noticed that the waiter at the Atlanta Fish Market has never interrupted a conversation to ask if I wanted more tea. It happens all the time at O'Charley's and Chilli's. Well, not so much at the Chili's near the house anymore. Come to think of it, I don't think it has never happened at any of the nicer Chinese places I visit.
You've just answered your own question. The quality/type of restaurant will dictate the type of service. In places like O'Charley's and Chilli's (referencing Milk) it is their job to make sure you got everything and they are geared towards "turn and burn." The server also has a lot more responsibilities and tables to deal with at these kind of places - I say cut them some slack. Now if I'm at St. John's, Porter's, etc. I expect a different level of service.
|
|
|
Post by LimitedRecourse on Dec 6, 2007 11:30:50 GMT -5
Some may wish to lower their expectations and enjoy the pleasant surprises. Romance and Chili's do not seem like a compatible mix to ME.
|
|
|
Post by Justin Thyme on Dec 6, 2007 11:35:15 GMT -5
It doesn't have to be romance. I could be having a conversation with my wife about our sons or work or anything.
|
|
Longshot! [ Saint ]
Moderator
Jack's Complete Lack of Surprise
I'm the Broken One who Fixes It
Posts: 4,309
|
Post by Longshot! [ Saint ] on Dec 6, 2007 14:11:48 GMT -5
Sonofabitch. I had a 'retort' planned, but Justin eliminated it.
I don't go into public for provate conversations; I don't go to restaurants expecting some bastard to 'hover' waiting for me to 'pause'...but he covered that two messages or so ago.
In short? You're at a restaurant. You are NOT the only snowflake in the 'storm'. So don't think as such, and if you do? Train your kids to be your sole bitches aroune the house. Because restaurants on ANY level do NOT have a 1:1 customer ratio.
Elitist scum.
|
|
|
Post by daworm on Dec 6, 2007 18:02:31 GMT -5
When I said they should wait for a pause, I meant two or three seconds, not ten minutes. Sheesh.
|
|
ScarlettP
Senior Forumite
Cookie Fairy
Posts: 4,856
|
Post by ScarlettP on Dec 6, 2007 18:21:22 GMT -5
Yet most people seem to think that store clerks should stand around twiddling their thumbs while the customer finishes a cell phone conversation.
|
|
|
Post by LimitedRecourse on Dec 6, 2007 21:05:51 GMT -5
Restaurants are the only places that some people will EVER be "served" so they take full advantage. Some people simply believe they are ENTITLED to be served by everyone they meet. Neither group ever tips very well, because they can't be pleased.
|
|
TNBear
Senior Forumite
Posts: 2,285
|
Post by TNBear on Dec 6, 2007 21:37:00 GMT -5
Just a note to Justin; if you feel the service at Atlanta Fish Market is good go around the corner to Kyma sometime. The service is awesome and the fish is even more awesome. I've been to both.
|
|
|
Post by victoriasuzette on Dec 6, 2007 21:41:54 GMT -5
In answer, I am going to copy and paste what I said in another thread ~ lol!
I really have no problem with that, as I normally suspend conversation when approached by a server, anyway (I appreciate their attention, but also appreciate privacy in my conversations); however, it used to be (and still is, in finer establishments that I’ve frequented in various countries) that servers and served alike understood the practice of a customer placing their hand over the top of their glass if they did not wish a refill, when approached by a server with a pitcher/bottle/etc.. Simple. Solves the question completely. No further exchange needed between the customer and the server on that score.
|
|
|
Post by Justin Thyme on Dec 6, 2007 21:51:05 GMT -5
Kyma is very good as is their service. Kyma is also slightly more pricey so I don't go there as often. I think I've been to most of the Buckhead Life restaurants. AFM is just the one I find myself at most often.
|
|
|
Post by twisted23 on Dec 6, 2007 22:23:05 GMT -5
damned if you do....damned if you don't...
ok....i UNDERSTAND not wanting to be interrupted during your meal. i UNDERSTAND you think i should anticipate your needs, as i should. I GET IT. and i respect it.
now everyone else needs to understand something, as i have previously attempted to get this point across... part of serving is this....i am supposed to talk to you. i am supposed to ask what you want/need. EVERY TIME. true, this may be different in different scale restaurants. somewhere like porter's and your more upscale restaurants, the server isn't really supposed to speak to the guests, simply be there for whatever is needed. that said, the MAJORITY of restaurants in the area are NOT like porter's. and in response to justin's comment on management asking how your dinner was...
1. did it ever occur to you that things are done a certain way for a reason? just as in a server's training we are taught and enforced by our bosses to ask our guest what they need, EVERY TIME, management is enforced by THEIR bosses to do what we refer to as "table visits"....the quick "hey, how was everything?" you get so bent out of shape over...so in answer to your question, yes, it is necessary in many establishments.
2. what's more, did it occur to you what a server's (or manager's) intentions are when they ask your needs? i can assure you, asking a quick, "how's everything?", "would you like some more tea or bread?" is not to piss you off. consider other's intent toward you for a moment and quit considering only yourself. that is an attempt to be polite and respectful towards you. don't be rude to me in return to my attempts at being polite to you. don't give me an annoyed look or brush me off. if you can't pause for one second to even say "no"....loosen up a bit. give me enough respect to acknowledge me. why would i want to acknowledge you if you don't even give me that much back? This is applicable in any aspect of life, not just serving.
like i said, i understand your feeling of interruption. but instead of getting pissed, simply dismiss it. is it really worth any type of negativity towards someone who is truly attempting to "serve" you in a polite manner? why waste your energy? at the end of the day, a server asking you a question has NO effect on your life. so let it go. geez.
positive intent never deserves negative response. no excuses taken here.
just consider it....look at things from a different perspective here. it's all i ask.
|
|
|
Post by Justin Thyme on Dec 6, 2007 22:40:12 GMT -5
Twisted, if I come into your restaurant and hand you a list of my desires of how I want to be served what will you think of me? If one of those requests is to keep the manager away from me unless I request the managers presence would that be passed on to the manager and would the manager comply? I'm serious about this question because this may be something I start doing.
|
|
|
Post by victoriasuzette on Dec 6, 2007 22:48:08 GMT -5
damned if you do....damned if you don't... Sweetpea ~ if you are partially addressing my post in this thread, I would reiterate that I did say that I appreciate the attention ~ that's a primary reason I go to a restaurant where I will be waited upon. My comment on the drink refill was only regarding that ~ the drink refill.
|
|
Milk
Senior Member
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Posts: 545
|
Post by Milk on Dec 6, 2007 22:48:49 GMT -5
If it really upsets you that much, then you really should tell someone. Waiters ask questions because it's their job to do so. Managers want to know if you're satisfied because that's a big part of their job as well. Like twisted23 said, I think the intent should go at least a little ways into forging your response.
I mean... I just don't see the problem. But then, I was a waiter for nigh on 15 years or more. My restaurant expectations are prolly a LOT different than yours.
|
|
Milk
Senior Member
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Posts: 545
|
Post by Milk on Dec 6, 2007 22:55:56 GMT -5
damned if you do....damned if you don't... Sweetpea ~ if you are [snip] This is just downright condescending. "Sweetpea," if you can't understand how the semtiments expressed in this thread (by you and others) would cause a waiter frustration, please do all the waiters of the world a favor and spend your hard-earned cheese at Arby's or McDonald's or somewhere where you can do it your way. "I can't stand it when a waiter pays too much attention to me." "Our waiter never asked us if we wanted a refill." "For god's sake don't hover!" "We barely saw our waiter all night." Jeezus Aitch Kee-rist.
|
|
|
Post by victoriasuzette on Dec 6, 2007 23:01:31 GMT -5
Milk, I was not being condescending at all, in calling her 'Sweetpea.' That is just my way. It's a 'Southern lady thing' ~ nicknames.
Ask my daughter. She has commented that my grandson probably thinks his name is 'Sugar,' as I call him that much more frequently than his real name ~ Lucien. He is also called 'Sweetpea,' 'Sweetie,' 'Honey,' 'Stinker,' 'Stinkweed,' 'Stinkbug,' etc.
ETA that, in case you hadn't gathered, 'Sweetpea' was meant as a term of endearment/sympathy.
|
|
|
Post by Justin Thyme on Dec 6, 2007 23:07:26 GMT -5
Milk, I occasionally visit some pretty high end restaurants. Not often but maybe four or five times a year. I live in an area where I don't have to drive far to visit some excellent restaurants so I take advantage of it when the budget allows. I really like the way I'm treated in these places so I throw in significantly more than the 20% going rate for a tip. My conversations are not interrupted at these places yet my water and tea glass usually remain full. My salad arrives soon after the order and my meal doesn't arrive until I'm through with my salad.
I understand that these are the best of the best in waiters and I don't expect service like this at Chili's or Longhorn. However, minor things like not interrupting conversations seems to me to be something that could be done at Chili's just as easily as at The Capital Grill. Chili's can get my salad to me soon enough so it looks like they could also get this part about not interrupting conversations. I would especially expect a manager to get that part right.
You say waiters ask questions because it is their job and I can agree with that. It's when the questions are asked that get to me.
I still think fondly back to the days I use to eat lunch weekly at the Coffee Shop in the Doctor's Building. I would sit down and my soft drink would appear without even asking. Just a nod of the head got me my cheesburger dressed just like I liked it with fries on the side. And this was at a lunch counter!
|
|
Milk
Senior Member
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Sweet Brown Liquor God
Posts: 545
|
Post by Milk on Dec 6, 2007 23:16:33 GMT -5
I still think fondly back to the days I use to eat lunch weekly at the Coffee Shop in the Doctor's Building. I would sit down and my soft drink would appear without even asking. Just a nod of the head got me my cheesburger dressed just like I liked it with fries on the side. And this was at a lunch counter! Damn dude, we probably sat next to each other at one point. Being a UTC Theatre Major, The DB was a MUST. Cheap, Awesome food with service to match. I used to drink so much sweet tea there so fast that they bought me my own giant cup. Best. Diner. Evar. IMO. Just saw this and had to say: At Ed Debevic's I used to specifically wait for people to take a big bite of their whatever then ask them if they needed anything and walk off before they could get the bite down. Did I mention that I loved that job?
|
|