Restaurant Service Question 1

[twisted23]

ok justin....you asked an honest answer, so please trust that my response is in no way sarcastic (and when i say "i", i mean any restaurant employee, not myself specifically)......that said...

if you walked into a restaurant and handed me a list of desires for your service, i would be oh so tempted to laugh in your face and walk away. (PLEASE, PLEASE remember i am speaking hypothetically here, not personally) the way a server sees it is this, you come in to be served, and interruption thing aside, that is what we are doing for you...serving you. and in turn we think, what could possibly be wrong with serving you the way we are told to do so? what more could you want? (yet again, hypothetical here)
if you don't want a manager to stop by and speak to your table, and told this to them, they would probably be a bit dumbfounded by this request. as their first thought would be the same of the server...."how did i go wrong in trying to be nice and do my job?"
that said, i know for some reason a lot of people don't think it should be necessary to give critique to management...but if they get no feedback on what you do, or don't for that matter, like, management in turn has no feedback for their bosses, who are the ones capable of making these changes.

personally speaking, i would definitely be thrown off upon presentation of a list of desires for your service....(and maybe even let out a laugh once out of eye/earshot, at least i'm honest) but i wouldn't dismiss it...i'm always open for suggestion and opinion, it's the only way i can continue to grow and learn, right?
professionally speaking? haha, i need my job! so of course i would accept suggestion from a guest. how else can a business grow and improve if they lack their consumer's input?

...wow...sorry about the longevity of my response here....the main point of all of this is this....if the manager truly knew that visiting your table aggrivated you, they wouldn't do it. why? their ultimate goal is to ensure the ultimate happiness and quality visit within their restaurant. if that means leaving you alone, that's what they do.....

does that answer your question at all....let me know...

[Justin Thyme]

You answered my question. You would think me odd, as you probably already do, but you would try to adhere to my desires, after all the giggling wore off.

A couple of things I want you to understand, I don't mind a waiter asking me questions, I mind when the questions are asked. I don't mind the manager visiting my table, I mind the timing of the visit. For instance, I have been right at the punch line of a joke before and the restaurant manager stop by and blurt out, "Is everything okay this evening" and then want to continue to chat. It just spoiled the timing of the whole joke. It's happened to me when my wife has been trying to explain technical things to me about her job that were important to the story she was telling me and its happened when my son was trying to explain an exciting event in his day.

When those stories get interrupted there is usually no recapturing of the moment. Those moments are important to me, far more important than me getting my tea glass refilled. It seems that the finer restaurants get that. It doesn't seem to me that it would be too far of a stretch to expect that from anyplace. It seems even the lunch counter at the Doctor's Building gets that. Maybe it should be something added to the training.

[kanooch1011]

Milk I would have loved to have been your customer at ED's. The way you describe yourself at ED's, you had it down pat and must of been making some sweet dough. BTW, I always overtip. Always. But then again, I have never had horrendous service. But, my version of horrendous service may be different than others.

[Dreamwebber]

I wonder how many of us actually were at the Doctors Building eating at the same time and of course never knew each other then (sometimes it would be nice to be able to go back in time and see if we had ever met before we met) I use to love eating there. Probably circa the same time Milk was there.

VS I am sure you didn't mean to sound condescending when you said it but, you have to understand in the written word it sounds different then the spoken word. For future references I would know not to take it personally because of your explanation but, I personally can't stand being called sugar, sweetie etc. In fact I turned down a job offer once because the male hiring me (within 10 years of my age) called me sweetie.

Back to topic. I guess I have been pretty lucky or, maybe I just don't get invited to eat with groups often. I think the waiter/waitress uses me as a frame of reference when deciding because I am usually the first to order and explain for instance "these two on this bill etc etc" I use body language or known signs for instance if I see the wait staff looking at my table I will hold my glass and nod or shake my head depending and no conversation needed. If we need something at our table I will make eye contact smile and nod or if nothing and I see them coming I will make eye contact and nod no. I rarely have any waitresses/waiters that don't understand this. If I am going to be chatting after dinner I will ask to go ahead and get the check if I don't want to be bothered anymore. If I still want to be waited on but, want dishes cleared away so we can still chat I will say something like "Right now we don't need anything but, if you see our glasses empty go ahead and fill them and we may want something else later but, we'll let you know" that way they can do their own thing and we will wave their attention or smile and nod etc. when we do need something.

[Warkitty]

Dreamy, that's pretty much how I handle things too. I've had stellar service in various establishments, some that are NOT known for stellar service, just because I use easily understood signals *with eye contact* to ensure my needs are met. I guess that's what I get for having a "command presence."

[snarkalicious]

This separating the checks thing still baffles me...perhaps because I waited tables back in the dark ages when restaurants used old fashioned cash registers and paper tickets.

I worked at a truck stop in Southern IN and made beaucoup bucks in tips-it's all in how you swing your butt when carrying trays loaded with meatloaf and fried chicken plates.

[Longshot! [ Saint ]]

I am certainly handicapped, because besides wearing the same outfit most times, I am a 'Bad Motherfucker', and tend to earn Service Quickly.

But I go to high-end restaurants frequently, and 'dine in the hood' even more so. I feel I have a pretty realistic grasp on What's Tippable, and What's Not.

Twisted, you have some unrealistic expectations as do we all. Relax. JiT, K, I only ask you don't kill the messenger per say when you can deduce it was out f their hands, and if it IS the messengers fault, use a proportional scale to reflect your annoyance.

I do, surprising as that may seem.

But again, to all, were I to communicate ONE thing...it's that the difference (more often than not) between a bad tip & a good one is usually 1-5 dollars. Come off it; it's a few less soda's for a what COULD be Great Joy, particularly if you're eating in the place I do, on the job. I know a lot of ladies (& men) supporting themselves wearing a lot of polyester under flourescent lights at night, as well as those wearing dark cottons under neon & incendescents during the day, usually trying to better themselves, and bust ass for you during their 12 hour shifts.

Relax, give up the soda money, and it WILL come back to you.


Just...ASK me if I want a lemon before you drop that bastard in there, 'K folks?

[Milk]

snarkalicious said:

I worked at a truck stop in Southern IN and made beaucoup bucks in tips-it's all in how you swing your butt when carrying trays loaded with meatloaf and fried chicken plates.

Truckstops in Southern Indiana don't generally get eight continuous rotating tables of 6 - 30 people for eight to ten hours a shift. With a line of hungry people out the door, waiting 45-120 minutes for a table.

And when I swing my butt, I am likely to knock someone over. My butt didn't get me tips. My singing would sometimes. Especially when the "teddy bear" conventions would come into town. But that is a threadjack for another time.

[snarkalicious]

You might just be underestimating the power of the butt swing

Again, this was in the old days, and you're right, I rarely had more than a 4 top (except on Sundays and the after church crowd, but they never tipped me anyway).

I did not know you could sing, I am expecting a serenade some day....

[yankeestuckinsouth]

Just simply communicate to your server that you and your wife would like a quiet, uninterrupted dinner and your server will be happy to serve you with that. If I have a table like this, I suggest closing their menus and putting them at the edge of the table to signal they are ready to order, to set glasses at the edge to be taken away or refilled if they are alcohol beverages, and to simply just make eye contact with me while I'm passing by. These will keep your dinner quiet and to your satisfaction, and will keep your server from feeling that "awkward" feeling, because, we know when we are bothering you.

[Tsavodiner]

yankeestuckinsouth said:

Just simply communicate to your server that you and your wife would like a quiet, uninterrupted dinner and your server will be happy to serve you with that. If I have a table like this, I suggest closing their menus and putting them at the edge of the table to signal they are ready to order, to set glasses at the edge to be taken away or refilled if they are alcohol beverages, and to simply just make eye contact with me while I'm passing by. These will keep your dinner quiet and to your satisfaction, and will keep your server from feeling that "awkward" feeling, because, we know when we are bothering you.

You've chosen a moniker well; you're far too civilized to dine out in this part of the country. The smoking ban had nothing to do with health; too many ashtrays were being flung at staff, and something had to be done....

[staffsgtsbunny]

This explains the piss poor service at Krystal! I was wondering what I was doing wrong!

;^)

[LimitedRecourse]

I can NEVER find a server when I want one at Central Park....no matter HOW long I sit on a bucket in the lot.

[yankeestuckinsouth]

tsavodiner - I wouldnt say im far to civilized, but serving in the south is WAY different than the north, i can say that!!But, i am enjoying the south....well....most of it!

[Babs]

I hope the South grows on you...and NOT like mold!

[Milk]

Like... Kudzu?

[victoriasuzette]

That reminds me ... I liked that restaurant that used to be downtown ... The Kudzu __?___ ... somebody help me out, here ....

[Jay]

It doesn't bug me one bit. They're trying to help me out. If they're there, you just stop talking, they help you, and when they leave, you resume. No biggie

[Milk]

victoriasuzette said:

That reminds me ... I liked that restaurant that used to be downtown ... The Kudzu __?___ ... somebody help me out, here ....

JB & Friends used to hold an annual event called the "Kudzu Ball," a parody of southern cotillion debutante balls. (heh... I said "balls") Then Durty Nelly's moved in that space in 1992.

BTW, I just figured out that was Blackadder in your avatar. You score points, VS. Gudonya!

[alphacelt]

I've read many of the posts but not all. Having waited tables for over 15 years from private club and upperscale dining to the Pickle Barrel and two stints at the Doctor's building.

First off, the question for this post is unbalanced and waited negatively. If your waiter actually interrupts then that is rude. But as several have pointed out, there are methods for a waiter to use (varies by setting) to make sure the customer knows they are not neglected (pause, eye contact, etc.). However, if the waiter is well trained and actually has to interrupt you as the only way to ensure that you receive service, then we have a different problem and the waiter may be trying to communicate that to you. It may be that you the customer need to be trained or keep your tacky ass at home.

Not only is there training and knowledge involved with being a well trained waiter, there is a body of knowledge that the customer should have as well. The post about a list of preferences? If there is a maitre d, then by all means supply him with the list and if your needs can't be met, then he should tell you so. If there isn't a maitre d then you'll need to build up a rapport with your waiter just like the rest of the human world.

Edited to add: the customer expectations need to realistically match the dining establishment as well. At the Pickle Barrel if the service is in your face then you got a live one! Tip well and find out what shifts he/she works and keep going back!!!

Now - MiLK mentioned a tipping thread and I saw another restaurant question. Much to do...

AC

[RuneDeer]

Justin, I can identify, and when the situation is that (in)tense that an interruption simply cannot be tolerated, I have no qualms about just holding my hand up with zero eye contact when someone approaches in the universal "Not now - go away" gesture. Invariably, the situation has cooled off later on and I then proceed to bat my eyes and smile and apologize, and all is forgiven.

Generally, the server, manager, or whoever it is has the wisdom to read the situation and comply, thinking there might be a gun, a knife, or an open bottle of Midol within reach...

[Justin Thyme]

Here's an example of what I'm talking about, and my wife wasn't even at the table this time. I'm having lunch with a couple of my co-workers. This is a working lunch and we are discussing a project we are working on. We were trying to figure out how to resolve a problem we were having which including fully understanding the problem. Right in the middle of an explanation the waitress saunters up to the table and asks, in a fairly loud voice, "Hoy y'all doing? Do you need more tea?" We told her no thanks and went back to our discussion when she continued to blurt out, "Are you sure there's nothing you need? How about desert?" We were still eating our meal! Why did she need to do that? Couldn't she see we were more concerned about our discussion than our service at that moment? Had she waited even a moment for us to pause our conversation I wouldn't have minded at all.

Of course I remember this woman most for many other things she did that was irritable? One of the guys at the table asked if they had some vegetable and he just said he thought he remembered them having it at one time. She informed him that she had been there seven years and they had never had that vegetable. She was loud and annoying three tables away.

Now this was a meat and three located in the Farmer's Market in Forrest Park so I wasn't expecting anywhere near the type of service I would expect even out of a corporate run mid line restaurant but this was even below what I would expect at any lunch counter. My meal was $8.00. I left her a single and thought that was too much for what I got.

[alphacelt]

Yes, this would be a bit rude but at a meat and 3 it's actually the kind of thing many would expect. It is not/was not my style of waiting tables but I would not be offended if I experienced this at a meat and 3 as long as it wasn't done over and over and over in the same meal.

AC

[RuneDeer]

A few weeks ago my brother-in-law and his prodigious appetite came to visit, so we took him to Bea's. We had a waitress who was outright flirting with the other man at our table, calling him "Middle Name Trouble" and so forth. By the time he got up to leave it was clear that she'd never seen him before in her life! She was really ditzy, and at one point, thankfully toward the end, she came over, rubbing her nose, informed us that she just couldn't stop rubbing it, didn't know why, and then looked down at the platter of pork barbecue and remarked that it looked "nasty." Delightful. She certainly earned her $1 tip, and between the three of us, a lot of food was put away and she could have walked away with a decent amount, had she managed to keep her trap shut. And yes, we complained to the manager on the way out -- he nodded with kind of a grim expression and said "Thanks, we're working on that."