Online searches change dating dynamic

[CMF Newsman]

CHICAGO - Dating used to be largely a matter of spending time with a love interest, discovering the good, the bad and the ugly in person. If you were lucky, friends helped fill in some of the blanks. These days, the Internet — and the ability to check people out before they ever meet up — has forever changed the rules. For better or worse, "googling" your date has become standard practice.

"I often tell my friends that are still in the dating sphere to use the power of Google to their advantage," says Katie Laird, a 24-year-old Web marketing professional and self-proclaimed "social software geek" from Houston.

The results can be enlightening, surprising — and sometimes, a little disturbing. So Laird's advice also comes with a warning: "Don't google what you can't handle."

Hers is the voice of experience. In her dating life, she regularly did online research on her dates and turned up, among other things, "bizarre" fetishes and a guy who was fascinated with vampires

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[Warkitty]

I've done simple google searches before and after dates, but...



these days I get a little more in depth. I try to get an address to verify ownership (I've had that turn up interesting lies), look for some online conversations like happen on this forum, try to verify marital status (last date I had we'd met that day on a bike ride, then went to dinner. It took a little digging, but I discovered a wife he'd somehow neglected to mention to anyone while in town). At this rate, I'm gonna be getting full background checks just to meet for dinner.

[Kordax]

At this rate, I'm gonna be getting full background checks just to meet for dinner.

I'm glad your standards aren't that high for lunch ....

[whimdriven]

I Google all my dates and check the criminal records available from the local muncipality and those from where they might have previously kept a residence ...

If there's anything to explain, I definitely give him the opportunity.

[gridbug]

Just tried this to see what came up and learned I am a hockey player! I had NO idea!! Not a single reference to who I thought I was. I guess I should study up on who I really am.

Geez - you think you know someone...

[daworm]

#1 hit on my name is for a child pornographer. Every other hit for the next three pages is me. However, about all you could tell from that is that I am a complete and total geek who occasionally rides a bicycle (and my work phone number).

[Laura Rice]

I am SOOOOOOO glad I do not have to go through this... Dating in this day and age would be so hard and complicated. I am glad that I have PIO and don't have to worry about all this.

Ladies that have to do this... My thumbs are up for you!! I would just as soon stay single than have to go through all that for a date.

Laura

[SunnyKC]

well.. I googled me.. that was fun...

I dont know if I would google someone I was going to date.. what if the info online was all wrong? I think you are right Laura... I'll just stay at home!

[Gary]

I googled myself (my real self, that Kelly Lockhart guy) and found out that I like wearing pirate outfits, teach astronomy at Rice University, am a guest at a number of science-fiction conventions, am a 2000 graduate of Eastern Illinois University, with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Geography, and was recently involved in a debate with the Jackson Hole, Wyoming city council.

Oh wait, wasn't the fact that I'm really Kelly Lockhart supposed to be some big secret?

[Laura Rice]

admin said:

I googled myself (my real self, that Kelly Lockhart guy) and found out that I like wearing pirate outfits, teach astronomy at Rice University, am a guest at a number of science-fiction conventions, am a 2000 graduate of Eastern Illinois University, with a Bachelor of Science Degree in Geography, and was recently involved in a debate with the Jackson Hole, Wyoming city council.

Oh wait, wasn't the fact that I'm really Kelly Lockhart supposed to be some big secret?

ROFLMAO!!! Funny how this came up today...

[Gary]

It's not like it's ever been a big secret.

[Laura Rice]

I googled myself and none of them were me. There were quite a few but they weren't me.

[Katworm]

After meeting some guy named Worm who lived in another state, you can believe I googled him! And I was told about the CMF, so I read what he wrote before I decided to date him. And despite some of the things he and "his friends" wrote, I married him anyway.

[Kordax]

And despite some of the things he and "his friends" wrote, I married him anyway.

And you both did great!

[daworm]

I was a victim of cyber-stalking, I tell ya!

(Well, maybe victim is too strong of a word...)

[Deleted]

I'm a (formerly drugged out) convict in a Texas prison.

[Warkitty]

This is why google searches on someone's name are interesting. Ya gotta be sure its the right person.


Example: the fellow who turned out to be married. I had a lot of false hits to start, hence the search was narrowed with known state, then city of residence. This turned up much already known. It was googling his SN from his email that turned up a message forum I could confirm he was posting on (the icon was a picture recognizably of him) where I found the wife mentioned. So, I then googled HER full name and got a hit... at the home address he had in his signature line in his email to me.

Trust, but verify. Pretty simple really.

[Jay]

My name is unique enough I'm only on google on one hit for using SETI@HOME a long, long time ago...

[el Gusano]

Well, let's see, I live in Nova Scotia, I'm a professional baseball pitcher, I'm a staff sergeant who testified before congress, I'm a jazz bassist in Phoenix, I play football for FC United of Manchester, and unfortunately, I'm a higher up with PETA.

[RuneDeer]

Dang! If I'd stayed married to my ex, I could have been the Senior Vice President of a nationally-known research lab, making high six figs...

[ScarlettP]

I've been known to "Google" some of my internet friends... You come up with some rather unusual stuff, most of it is probably NOT the person you are looking for.

Things a friend told me about himself: He's married with one son who has the same name as my son. He has a degree in Physiology and used to work as a personal trainer. He makes his living as a system analyst of some sort (reading computer code sort of like Gridbug does). He is currently working on a computing degree to match his career. He used to play the drums in a garage band and he likes Marvel comics.

Google says:

His Amazon wish list includes a Comic index. (probably true)
He helped develop a way to potentially eliminate broken hyperlinks. (don't think he's THAT big of a geek)
He filed a restaurant lawsuit in Honolulu (not likely)
He is a impressionists and representational artist. (Damn! Boy gets around!)
He's also a lawyer. (I should work on a closer relationship!)

The list is 10 pages long.... Only the one about the Amazon list looks like anything that could be him. I don't even think his name is all that common.

Maybe Geeks just know how to keep their real names off the net?

[Warkitty]

Most google searches turn out like that.



This is why I still go on dates.

[Red]

I'm a radio marketing guru (reformed) and I have some very successful relatives.

[Felix]

My name is shared by:

A co-founder of a music software company

A lawyer with the EEOC.

A character/actor in bondage films.

A retired doctor in Pittsburgh.

A manager with a wireless messaging firm in Malaysia.

A placement specialist in an employment agency in Chattanooga. (wait, that's my son!)


And I thought I had an unusual name.

[topspin34]

I'm an Irish folk singer!