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Post by CMF Newsman on Apr 8, 2009 12:53:42 GMT -5
Well, now we have it. The Windows ME of The Fast and The Furious franchise, creatively titled Fast & Furious. See how they dropped the “the” before each word? Brilliant. Even the title of the movie expresses just how soul-crushingly unoriginal this movie is. Tylenol PM can’t touch the sheer slumber-inducing power of the first half hour of this movie. After a high-energy oil-tanker robbery (from the previews), we are treated to 30 brain-numbing minutes of exposition and what the screenwriters would like to call “character development.” Apparently the movie actually required the acting gravitas of Michelle Rodriguez to prop up Vin Diesel who morphs into The Dark Knight’s raspy grumbly Christian Bale without her. After her unexpected and pointless death, Diesel is supplied with the McGuffin he needs to come back out of hiding and get back behind the wheel. Then there’s acting powerhouse Paul Walker, whose main purpose in life is to have blue eyes, and to get the crap kicked out of him. At this, he performs masterfully. His Keanu Reeves-style dialogue delivery almost convinces the viewer that he’s either ad-libbing his entire performance, or only just saw the script for the first time that morning. www.chattanoogapulse.com/film/film-reviews/13-film-reviews/771-review-the-fast-and-the-furious-version-25
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