Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 15, 2009 7:58:19 GMT -5
I haven't had sex with Tiger Woods.
Yet.
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ScarlettP
Senior Forumite
Cookie Fairy
Posts: 4,856
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Post by ScarlettP on Dec 15, 2009 8:31:35 GMT -5
Not I. I'm afraid of where he's been.
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Post by Warkitty on Dec 15, 2009 8:40:24 GMT -5
I haven't...
(then again, I haven't slept with anyone in a loooong time)
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Post by rstewart on Dec 15, 2009 11:40:41 GMT -5
I have not had sexual relations with that man; Mr Woods.......
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Post by gridbug on Dec 15, 2009 13:13:54 GMT -5
You people aren't missing anything. He's not up to par...
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Post by rstewart on Dec 15, 2009 13:16:48 GMT -5
I haven't... (then again, I haven't slept with anyone in a loooong time) You do know this can be rectified don't you?  |
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Post by LimitedRecourse on Dec 15, 2009 16:03:22 GMT -5
No comment.
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Scarlet&Gray
Senior Forumite
Mr. Ohio
In our honor defend we will fight to the end
Posts: 2,902
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Post by Scarlet&Gray on Dec 16, 2009 0:45:48 GMT -5
I wish I did, I'm sure the payoff check would be very nice.
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Post by Warkitty on Dec 16, 2009 7:12:36 GMT -5
rstewart, I thought of so many ways to answer you. Joking "yeah, but Tiger's under lock and key now," mean, snarky... but I decided I'd go with honest.
Yeah, I'm sure if I relaxed my standards that could be rectified. However, it seems even my rather simple vetting process has left me bereft of qualified applicants. I'll give you the four standards that seem impossible to pass, the last being the biggest hurdle that otherwise qualified fellows can't seem to overcome.
1) NOT Married. Yeah, seriously, I don't care to be named in a divorce as the cause.
2) Younger than my Dad.
3) Smarter than my dog. (maybe that's unfair, Strega is a pretty smart dog)
4) Has to make a move. I am done with being Captain Obvious and having to nigh club someone over the head to get anywhere. If they were MEN, they'd have the balls to ask me out rather than waiting for me to climb in their lap and ask them for a date. Hell, have the balls to TRY. I mean, I figure if I have to club them over the head with a clue-by-four, they must not be all that interested in the first place.
and like I said, that last one seems the biggest hurdle. I occasionally hear a friend tell me "so and so is really interested...." but the person in question won't so much ask if I'll meet them for coffee. Fools and Cowards need not apply.
Maybe that's why all these women went for Tiger. He actually asked.
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Post by rstewart on Dec 16, 2009 9:01:52 GMT -5
and you dad is how old?  LOL |
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Jay
Senior Forumite
Captain Cupcake
Posts: 5,070
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Post by Jay on Dec 16, 2009 9:09:56 GMT -5
Maybe that's why all these women went for Tiger. He actually asked. I'm guessing he didn't have to ask.. I bet those girls threw themselves on him... |
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Post by ohwell on Dec 16, 2009 9:28:20 GMT -5
Threw themselves at him?? He can't even drive a car without a hydrant and tree, how the hell is he suppose to catch a woman??
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BlackFox
Senior Forumite
Stay thirsty my friends
Posts: 4,496
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Post by BlackFox on Dec 16, 2009 9:48:36 GMT -5
$1,000,000,000 helps.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Dec 16, 2009 10:03:32 GMT -5
> $1,000,000,000 helps.
Thus my "yet" comment at the top of this thread.
Does that make me a hooker?
(and don't give me that "Now that we know what you are, we can discuss price" argument.)
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Post by msminx811 on Dec 16, 2009 10:57:31 GMT -5
can't say that I have had the pleasure of his aqquaintenance, and to back up the other poster.. not with where it has been known to have been. I don't eat at other people's plates.
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Post by Warkitty on Dec 16, 2009 11:08:16 GMT -5
so, you only do virgins?
That's gotta cut WAY down on your options.
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Post by daworm on Dec 16, 2009 12:33:31 GMT -5
My wife hit me over the head with a clue-by-four. Glad she did.
But I suppose I'm really not much of a "real man" though, well, except for the belching and farting bits, those I have down pat.
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Post by LimitedRecourse on Dec 16, 2009 16:05:15 GMT -5
"...those I have down pat."
And she's STILL pissed about that.
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BlackFox
Senior Forumite
Stay thirsty my friends
Posts: 4,496
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Post by BlackFox on Dec 16, 2009 16:06:56 GMT -5
so, you only do virgins? That's gotta cut WAY down on your options. And satisfaction. |
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Post by rstewart on Dec 16, 2009 17:18:02 GMT -5
Come on Blackfox, never heard of self satisfaction? LMAO
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BlackFox
Senior Forumite
Stay thirsty my friends
Posts: 4,496
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Post by BlackFox on Dec 16, 2009 17:57:22 GMT -5
Come on Blackfox, never heard of self satisfaction? LMAO Damn right I have. I'm married. |
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Tookie
Senior Forumite
Posts: 2,747
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Post by Tookie on Dec 16, 2009 21:34:41 GMT -5
Maybe that's why all these women went for Tiger. He actually asked. I'm guessing he didn't have to ask.. I bet those girls threw themselves on him... Yeah, and most of them have been quoted as saying they knew he was married and didn't care. The pictures I've seen of them, they all look like high priced hookers. |
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Police Moderator
Global Moderator
On The Job and Tangled Up In Blue
Posts: 9,821
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Post by Police Moderator on Dec 17, 2009 5:23:10 GMT -5
Dammit.
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joedog
Senior Forumite
Posts: 2,830
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Post by joedog on Dec 17, 2009 7:12:44 GMT -5
Rules me out too....... #1 also SO I guess I am out by 2 strikes...... |
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Post by Warkitty on Dec 17, 2009 7:57:02 GMT -5
LOL Read those two replies to Strega. He's grinning too.
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Jay
Senior Forumite
Captain Cupcake
Posts: 5,070
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Post by Jay on Dec 17, 2009 10:18:22 GMT -5
I'm sure they were living large while they were w/ him...
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