Forty is the new Thirty

[Jay]

I guess it all depends on whether you want to look at the worst possible way to look at an innocent statement...

[Warkitty]

Or maybe, since you weren't there and don't know the person who was making the statement, maybe you're the idiot refusing to shut the f*ck up when you've nothing of substance to offer.

[Jay]

Or... Maybe you and Justin Thyme are cynics who keep trying to look for the worst possible way to look at innocent statements. In my opinion, the people you spoke with were not idiots and were just trying to be nice.

And while you might not think what I have to say is of any "substance," I'm sure other people do enjoy reading about how one can look at things in a more positive way.

I'd venture to say more people would be dismissive of your potty mouth and your silly complaining...

[duke]

Jay, Maybe this is not the best time to argue. . . discuss any opposing view. Maybe next week would be better. warkitty simply cannot help what her mood is right now.

[Justin Thyme]

Aug 4, 2010 12:16:31 GMT -5 Jay said:

Or... Maybe you and Justin Thyme are cynics who keep trying to look for the worst possible way to look at innocent statements. In my opinion, the people you spoke with were not idiots and were just trying to be nice.

No, it isn't that we are cynics, though we both may be, it's that this particular direction is a threadjack of sorts. The point is that both Warkitty and I feel that we are looking at our aging in a positive manner but being told by idiots to ignore the natural progression of life and deny that we are growing older. I fell trap to that mindset years back and I'm having to dig myself out of a pit that that particular mindset caused me. Warkitty, OTOH, is entering into that stage of life that caught me in that trap and entering it with a much more positive mindset.

Jay, what you are exhibiting is the very same behavior that annoyed Warkitty to begin with. You are defending an idiotic statement that may have been made with good intentions, but more than likely wasn't based on Warkitty's personal knowledge of the person, but was still an idiotic statement. Warkitty was specifically pointing out why the statement was idiotic and you are attempting to dismiss her argument with "their intentions were good." That wasn't the point. The point was people are in denial about aging mostly because they don't want to admit it is happening to them. It doesn't matter what their intent is, the message they are expressing is idiotic. How can that be defended? How is your response here different from theirs? Are you defending their denial of the aging process? Do you think we should be in denial of our growing older?

[Jay]

Threadjack: To take over the content of a message thread by changing the subject of discourse to a topic outside the purview of the original subject

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?ter...Threadjack


This isn't a threadjack. I'm posting about the current subject.

I don't see what these people told Warkitty as denying the aging process nor do I think that you guys should be in denial of growing older.

Like I said before, I completely believe that what these people said was simply to be nice.

"you're not that old, I know people in their 50's that are soooo fit and healthy!"

"hey, you're not 81 yet"

These sound like things a friend would say. The first one sounds like they're saying it to be encouraging, and the second one sounds like the friend is trying to be lighthearted about the situation.

In those two statements, they're not telling Warkitty 'to ignore the natural progression of life or to deny that she's growing older.' You guys are placing negative thoughts into what they said when those thoughts were never there.

And since these "friends" and "contemporaries" of her aren't here to defend themselves from being called "idiots," I decided to step in and put forth the more positive viewpoint on what they said.

You can either look at things like a cynic and call people idiots.. Or you can try to look at the more positive way to look at things...

I'd rather do the former...

[Justin Thyme]

Jay, do you understand how frustrating it is to be saying one thing and the person you are talking to responds to something completely different? When I want to have a conversation about the aging process I don't want to be told I'm not aging, we are all aging and to be told we are not is denial of the facts, I want to have a discussion about the aging process.

How old are you now, Jay? Late twenties? Early thirties? Are you noticing any differences in what your body will allow you to do now compared to what your body allowed you to do ten years ago? Is your skin as pliable as it was ten years ago? Is your libido as strong? Do you take longer to recover from strenuous exercise? Do you engage in any strenuous exercise? I saw little sign of aging until I hit 35 and then I started noticing a few changes but they were very minor compared to what I noticed ten years later and now, at fifty-five, I understand that what I thought about aging at forty-five was completely wrong. Why? People kept telling me how young I was instead of talking about what I could expect.

I know their intentions were probably all good but those intentions kept me from having conversations that very well could have kept me from digging the hole I dug for myself. I now understand that I need to be working out harder than I did when I was thirty-five and just allowing more time for recovery rather than easing back on my activities as I thought I was suppose to do. The lack of that conversation put sixty-five pounds of weight on me that I'm now struggling to get rid of. It also is the root cause of my high blood pressure.

I'm growing old, I'm not growing infirm. I don't want people to pretend that I need to be carded to drink. I don't need people to respond that I'm not getting old when I start talking about changes in nutritional needs and the need to take a little more time to recover from physical activities when discussing scheduling. It is condescending and if people think they are being nice by acting like these can't be issues with me then they need to be educated.

[palindrome]

Aug 2, 2010 15:54:47 GMT -5 Warkitty said:

Or maybe they're idiots

From my perspective most people are.

[palindrome]

The point is that both Warkitty and I feel that we are looking at our aging in a positive manner but being told by idiots to ignore the natural progression of life and deny that we are growing older.

Most people proceed through life never thinking about the end of it, content to believe that they are going somewhere better after it is finished. Aging is a series of disease processes that we ignore. Our society normalizes growing old by justifying all the negative things that go along with slowly dying as "part of life."

[Fatally Yours]

As long as you keep the sense of humour evidenced by the Terry Pratchett quote, You're golden in my book.

[Jay]

Aug 4, 2010 14:21:15 GMT -5 Justin Thyme said:

Jay, do you understand how frustrating it is to be saying one thing and the person you are talking to responds to something completely different? When I want to have a conversation about the aging process I don't want to be told I'm not aging

Telling someone "they're not that old," or "at least you're not 81 yet" is not telling them that they're not aging.

And unless you preface the conversation saying you want to have a serious discussion about aging, most people will probably look at it in the lighter side.

Aug 4, 2010 14:21:15 GMT -5 Justin Thyme said:

I don't need people to respond that I'm not getting old when I ..... need to take a little more time to recover from physical activities when discussing scheduling.

In this case, the person you're speaking with could have been more sensitive.

[Justin Thyme]

Aug 5, 2010 11:34:40 GMT -5 Jay said:

Aug 4, 2010 14:21:15 GMT -5 Justin Thyme said:

Jay, do you understand how frustrating it is to be saying one thing and the person you are talking to responds to something completely different? When I want to have a conversation about the aging process I don't want to be told I'm not aging

Telling someone "they're not that old," or "at least you're not 81 yet" is not telling them that they're not aging.

And unless you preface the conversation saying you want to have a serious discussion about aging, most people will probably look at it in the lighter side.

Aug 4, 2010 14:21:15 GMT -5 Justin Thyme said:

I don't need people to respond that I'm not getting old when I ..... need to take a little more time to recover from physical activities when discussing scheduling.

In this case, the person you're speaking with could have been more sensitive.

I really have no interest in people who are only concerned with light conversation. I find those people very shallow and not worth my time. I try my best to surround myself with interesting people so I don't have to put up with folks that just want to talk about the weather or nice, pleasant things. I find these people to be very boring. I don't have time for them and I would like for them to go away and allow me time with people who know how to be conversationalists.

[Jay]

Even the most 'serious' conversationalists partake of light and fun conversation... Not all discussions have to be deadly serious..

[Justin Thyme]

No, but when I'm telling you about a problem I have and what I'm doing to make allowances for it I don't need you to make light of it or dismiss what I'm saying.

[Tsavodiner]

The worst part of 'mellowing' is the attendant marginalization that comes with living in a culture that celebrates all thing youth, not necessarily based on intelligence.

[Justin Thyme]

Aug 5, 2010 17:04:28 GMT -5 Tsavodiner said:

The worst part of 'mellowing' is the attendant marginalization that comes with living in a culture that celebrates all thing youth, not necessarily based on intelligence.

Thanks, Tsavo. That is the word I've been searching for to describe what the "light hearted" responses make me feel they are doing. It might be well meaning but its ageist. People need to realize that.

[Tsavodiner]

You're very welcome.

[LimitedRecourse]

Grumpy old farts.

[Warkitty]

This grumpy old fart'll kick your butt:-P

[LimitedRecourse]

Once you were able to get out of your chair and find your walker....

[Warkitty]

But once I do, watch out honey!

[LimitedRecourse]

Vanity, thy name is elder.

And for those chasing me with their walkers....I always carry a can of motor oil on my utility belt to thwart your progress.

[Warkitty]

I don't have to chase you.



(I knew buying that slingshot was a good idea!)

[professorx]

Aug 7, 2010 20:43:32 GMT -5 Warkitty said:

I don't have to chase you.

(I knew buying that slingshot was a good idea!)

How come since women have become empowered without self-actualization abilities?

Vanity, age, weight, etc., really doesn't matter. You are who you want to be.

I suggest more self-actualization, existentalism, and festive drinking for anyone at such a cross-roads. Life and the show must go on.

This might seem like a vapid, shallow comment given by one of the narcissistic youth here. One that is derived from their unwarranted sense of self-importance, but it is not.

I'm probably on the higher end of the median age here...

If your physical activities are failing, keep in mind you (like the rest of us) were never a world-class athlete anyway. Only the illusion of potential greatness that came with youth is gone. If you give up biking, running, or whatever then you never really cared for it to begin with.

If you are an aging cop, then you are probably 10 or 20 times more efficient and smarter than a rookie. It takes at least 10 years to become a good cop (or any other career)
.
If you are Justin Time, you seem like the kind of guy that never really had a problem with appearances or other people's opinion anyway.

The spokes might be falling off your bike, but the ride isn't over. Keep going.

[Tsavodiner]

If you are an aging cop, then you are probably 10 or 20 times more efficient and smarter than a rookie. It takes at least 10 years to become a good cop (or any other career)

AHH, so you're familiar with the Cassandra Syndrome!

I run somewhere between bemused and horrified watching them re-invent the Wheel.

Downright vexing; being right so much and ignored so much.

[professorx]

Aug 9, 2010 19:52:28 GMT -5 Tsavodiner said:

If you are an aging cop, then you are probably 10 or 20 times more efficient and smarter than a rookie. It takes at least 10 years to become a good cop (or any other career)

AHH, so you're familiar with the Cassandra Syndrome!

I run somewhere between bemused and horrified watching them re-invent the Wheel.

Downright vexing; being right so much and ignored so much.

Here is an exaggerated version I have observed.

New cop: "This guy is wanted for writing bad checks! We'll go out to his house kick his door in. Make a scene in front of the whole family. Get into a huge all-out brawl. Pepper spray, fisticuffs, WWA, MMA, judo-kicks, then a visit to Erlanger."

Not-New-Cop- "Hey, lets pick him up when he reports to work/probation/court in about two hours."

If I were a cop, I'd have no problem with fighting. Reality is no matter how bad you think you are you still have a 50/50 chance of getting fucked up. There could be a freak accident and you go flying down the stairs or get an eye put out. I wouldn't risk getting my eye put out for a guy who has a good chance of never spending a day in jail (any criminal these days).

Back to being old. It does boil down to vanity. If vanity is your deal. Look how many old, fat, weird people seem to do well in life.
Cope and compensate. They've done it for a lifetime, we could do it for half a lifetime.

[Justin Thyme]

With me I'm trying something new in my midlife that requires physical conditioning. I can talk about training with someone ten to twenty years younger than me but I think I'd get more pertinent answers from someone my age or older. When I broach the subject with someone my age or just a few years younger I'm just disappointed when the person doesn't want to have a serious talk about aging.

[professorx]

Aug 9, 2010 20:25:33 GMT -5 Justin Thyme said:

With me I'm trying something new in my midlife that requires physical conditioning. I can talk about training with someone ten to twenty years younger than me but I think I'd get more pertinent answers from someone my age or older. When I broach the subject with someone my age or just a few years younger I'm just disappointed when the person doesn't want to have a serious talk about aging.

In my opinion someone older just has to put more thought and planning into physical conditioning.

You might be able to run a 5k as fast as an average 20 or 30 year old but it takes more conditioning (more time to build up to that level).

Also an older person has to plan and train carefully as not to injure themselves. A ripped tendon or muscle would take longer to heal.

This bullcrap is strictly my opinion and varies, everyone is different.

I've ran 3 races in the last year and was hardly motivated or pumped up for them. I have no motivation. There was no adrenalin, hardly any excitement... just a few scarce butterflies. It was like "Whatever, I could care less. I just want to run my own pace and finish. Pssh-shaw". As I passed people I said "''Sup poseur?"

[professorx]

Aug 16, 2010 18:19:13 GMT -5 @yodanbr2 said:

Both Botox and Viagra are wrinkle removers, right?

Is it wrong to say I've used botox on my ballz?

[Jay]

Aug 16, 2010 17:32:06 GMT -5 professorx said:

As I passed people I said "''Sup poseur?"