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Post by Justin Thyme on Nov 1, 2011 12:09:37 GMT -5
I've noticed it too and I hate this. One of the kindest compliments I've ever been given was someone calling me a Southern Gentleman. I strive daily to earn that title but that doesn't seem to have the importance to my sons' generation as it does to me and those I grew up with. I'm not real sure how to get it back. Oh, my sons still use "sir" and "ma'am" when they address people and I hope they still hold doors, not just for ladies but for anyone, but the reason for doing so seems lost on them.
A Last Bastion of Civility, the South, Sees Manners Decline
By KIM SEVERSON
Published: November 1, 2011
ATLANTA — One August night, two men walked into a popular restaurant attached to this city’s fanciest shopping mall. They sat at the bar, ordered drinks and pondered the menu. Two women stood behind them.
A bartender asked if they would they mind offering their seats to the ladies. Yes, they would mind. Very much.
Angry words came next, then a federal court date and a claim for more than $3 million in damages.
The men, a former professional basketball player and a lawyer, also happen to be African-American. The women are white. The men’s lawyers argued that the Tavern at Phipps used a policy wrapped in chivalry as a cloak for discriminatory racial practices.
After a week’s worth of testimony in September, a judge decided in favor of the bar.
Certainly, the owners conceded, filling the bar with women offers an economic advantage because it attracts more male drinkers. But in the South, they said, giving up a seat to a lady is also part of a culture of civility.
At least, it used to be. The Tavern at Phipps case, and a growing portfolio of examples of personal and political behavior that belies a traditional code of gentility, has scholars of Southern culture and Southerners themselves wondering if civility in the south is dead, or at least wounded.
“Manners are one of many things that are central to a Southerner’s identity, but they are not primary anymore. Things have eroded,” said Charles Reagan Wilson, a professor of history and southern culture at the University of Mississippi.
(Continued)
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Post by el Gusano on Nov 1, 2011 14:50:04 GMT -5
The manners are still here, and it's a real blessing to see the kids around here with manners.
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Post by Tsavodiner on Nov 1, 2011 17:09:26 GMT -5
You want to see discourtesy just short of fisticuffs, go to ANY buffet-style restaurant after church on Sunday.
Bunch of damn savages
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Post by Tsavodiner on Nov 1, 2011 17:10:22 GMT -5
Ah, yes.
"The Dream", exemplified in so many different ways....
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joedog
Senior Forumite
Posts: 2,830
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Post by joedog on Nov 1, 2011 17:26:04 GMT -5
You want to see discourtesy just short of fisticuffs, go to ANY buffet-style restaurant after church on Sunday. Bunch of damn savages Or try to cut line at Bea's |
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Bob
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Bird Geek
Posts: 7,029
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Post by Bob on Nov 3, 2011 7:51:00 GMT -5
Being in a wheelchair, people tend to think I need the door held. I have noticed that younger more "white collar" people are less likely to offer to hold the door than older or "blue collar" folk.
("Blue collar" and "White collar" might not be the best choice of words, but I hope they convey my meaning)
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joedog
Senior Forumite
Posts: 2,830
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Post by joedog on Nov 3, 2011 12:07:01 GMT -5
White Collar = Those who think you should hold the door for them.
Blue Collar = Dying breed who thinks that its still honorable to help others.
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Post by b33fj3rky on Nov 3, 2011 16:10:19 GMT -5
Dangit, I thought this was a thread about the new album Zombified. A really fun album, too.
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osrb
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Semper Fi
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Post by osrb on Nov 7, 2011 9:19:17 GMT -5
White Collar = Those who think you should hold the door for them. Blue Collar = Dying breed who thinks that its still honorable to help others. Not quite Joe. Many of us "White Collar" folk started out as blue collar and still know what it is like. |
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Bob
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Post by Bob on Nov 7, 2011 9:29:39 GMT -5
White Collar = Those who think you should hold the door for them. Blue Collar = Dying breed who thinks that its still honorable to help others. Not quite Joe. Many of us "White Collar" folk started out as blue collar and still know what it is like. I knew those were poor choices for words... In THIS context white collar means "more elite" or "privileged" or "self important" (in most cases under 40) |
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Post by Warkitty on Nov 7, 2011 13:18:56 GMT -5
So, in this case it's pure classicism.
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RuneDeer
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I look pretty young, but I'm just back-dated.
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Post by RuneDeer on Nov 9, 2011 19:46:28 GMT -5
Southern manners have been going downhill ever since the Olympics in 1996. Too many, well, people from other climates decided they liked it enough to stay. Since I came down here 10 years before that, I'm officially a native and bear no resemblance to those other people.
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Post by ssmynkint on Nov 9, 2011 20:46:35 GMT -5
Well, I've been down here 60 yrs and can assure you that all that's change is the veneer has peeled off.
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Post by Justin Thyme on Nov 10, 2011 8:40:00 GMT -5
Veneer is important. Ask any furniture builder.
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Post by captaineric on Nov 10, 2011 9:16:48 GMT -5
I have always thought Southern Manners are overrated. Many, many people here ARE NOT that nice or polite. I frequently travel to places like Los Angeles which seem to get a bad rap in terms of how the people are, and there are just as many nice people there as you will find here. That's my experience, anyway.
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Post by ssmynkint on Nov 10, 2011 10:22:46 GMT -5
Only when it stays on, especially when it covers particle board.
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Post by Justin Thyme on Nov 10, 2011 10:35:23 GMT -5
Only when it stays on, especially when it covers particle board. I agree and my complaint is that it is being peeled off. I'd like to see it repaired. |
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