Pet Care After Rapture

[printemps]

"You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind."



www.aolnews.com/nation/article/atheist-run-company-promises-to-care-for-pets-left-behind-in-rapture/19356310


For an up-front fee of $110, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, which says it has animal rescuers in 22 states (including TN & GA), guarantees that it will take care of one pet in the event that the Rapture occurs within 10 years of payment.

Each additional pet costs $15, and a 25 percent discount is offered when customers sign up again after the first term of coverage expires.

So far, more than 100 people have signed up for the service.

[Justin Thyme]

Since all dogs go to heaven those dogs will probably be taken up before their owners.

[Warkitty]

Oh my gods that is the best laugh I've had in AGES!

[gridbug]

Are they hiring? I love dogs and have no plans to go to Heaven. I would not mind receiving a retainer check until then, and then start my dog-sitting duties when the Apocalypse starts

I even have experience with serpents!

[Babs]

There will be pets in my heaven! I may not make it, but I know they will!

[rstewart]

JT,

Brother, I hate to do this to you but I must. All dogs SUCK, EVERY one of them. Yes, this includes your dog too. Sorry to have to break this news to you but you will get over it soon enough.

[gridbug]

Feb 16, 2010 11:52:56 GMT -5 rstewart said:

JT,

Brother, I hate to do this to you but I must. All dogs SUCK, EVERY one of them. Yes, this includes your dog too. Sorry to have to break this news to you but you will get over it soon enough.

As a general rule I like a dog more than I like most people. Thanks for reaffirming my beliefs

[Bob]

Wonder if, when the rapture comes, those people that were mistaken get any kind of refund.... [grin]

[gridbug]

It's all in the contract. One is not due a refund if they are left behind after the rapture. There is also no refund if there is an unraptured relative that wants to keep the pet. And of course if you are raptured, the pets will be adopted by the rescuers and you will NOT receive bills for their food and care (even though just ONE cobblestone from a golden road would certainly cover it...)

[Justin Thyme]

Feb 16, 2010 11:52:56 GMT -5 rstewart said:

JT,

Brother, I hate to do this to you but I must. All dogs SUCK, EVERY one of them. Yes, this includes your dog too. Sorry to have to break this news to you but you will get over it soon enough.

[ScarlettP]

Ok... So I pay my money... I get called away... WHO calls the rescue people to come get my dogs? And Why would I want some godless heathen taking care of my babies?

I'll just ask Gridbug, very sweetly, to pick them up for me.

[Deleted]

I have it on good authority that All Dogs Go to Heaven.






I heard it from a dead guy, so he should know, right?.

[gridbug]

I'll pick them up right after you're raptured Ms Scarlett

There isn't anything wrong with being a godless heathen! I like that slogan "why not be good for goodness sake?" I'm not a criminal, never even been arrested. I don't lie, cheat, or steal. Dogs & kids like me and they're supposed to recognize good people. I even give my money and time volunteering to help the homeless, not to mention other charities. I just happen to be a godless heathen with no plans on going to Heaven. I do not need a fear of divine retribution to make me a good person, I just do it because the world needs more good people.

So if the Rapture ever comes I'd be more than happy to fill my house up with critters, quit my job, and spoil them all rotten until the end of the world. Which wouldn't be all that long after the Rapture... Everyone in my house would go out smiling and purring and wagging!

Yeah, I need to send in my application

[Justin Thyme]

I thought heathens had gods. Bunches of them.

Grid, ask me about inclusivism sometime in an appropriate thread.

[gridbug]

After that post I went off to mend a favored dog toy that was losing stuffing. Yep, this is the job for me!

Grid, ask me about inclusivism sometime in an appropriate thread.

No way! And mess up ths job? Incluvisim and the Rapture actually happening pretty much have to be mutually exclusive.

[LimitedRecourse]

By the time the Rapture takes place, most pets will already have been eaten.

[gridbug]

Feb 17, 2010 10:57:57 GMT -5 LimitedRecourse said:

By the time the Rapture takes place, most pets will already have been eaten.

Nope. The Rapture happens BEFORE God lets loose his armies to destroy the world. You need to watch more televangelists, they'll set your facts straight.

[Justin Thyme]

Feb 17, 2010 12:08:22 GMT -5 @gridbug said:

Feb 17, 2010 10:57:57 GMT -5 LimitedRecourse said:

By the time the Rapture takes place, most pets will already have been eaten.

Nope. The Rapture happens BEFORE God lets loose his armies to destroy the world. You need to watch more televangelists, they'll set your facts straight.

I would think that would depend on if,
he was pre or post or millennialist.
Not every preacher is of the same bent.
And Revelations is sort of obtuse.

[el Gusano]

It's not really obtuse; there's more than one. So many theological issues are argued as "either this or that" when the proper answer is "both", and the circumstances surrounding each are given.

[LimitedRecourse]

Pre-Tribulation, Mid-Tribulation or Post-Tribulation Rapturist? I lean toward Mid-Tribulation...

[Warkitty]

I just have to question the worth of a god that would leave all the animals to suffer for things they're not in control of.

[el Gusano]

Where does it say he will leave pets behind?

[rstewart]

So what, if they are left behind. They are animals. God should not be blamed IF they suffer, the PEOPLE who have them are at fault should this occur. Many moons ago they were "wild" animals until man got involved and domesticated them.

[gridbug]

I hate to have to agree with Gus (arguing is much more entertaining) but my favorite televangelist said your pets will be with you in Heaven and if Jack Van Impe says it then it MUST be true!

So if we're raining on my parade and ruining the job I want, I may as well point out that the Rapture is really no more Biblical than Hellfire & Brimstone. I just always WANTED to believe in the Rapture, because even though the Apocalypse does bring its share of inconveniences, I have always hoped the Rapture would make finding a parking space downtown easier.

[Justin Thyme]

Feb 17, 2010 14:22:59 GMT -5 el Gusano said:

It's not really obtuse; there's more than one. So many theological issues are argued as "either this or that" when the proper answer is "both", and the circumstances surrounding each are given.

If you read Revelations without trying to add some hidden meaning to it you are correct. It becomes obtuse when one tries to decode what all those seals were. I don't think they need decoding.

As far as a god leaving animals behind to perish, those animals are God's creation the same as you or me. If they are left behind they will be cared for the same as God cares for the sparrows. When God decided to save Noah and his family from the destruction of the world he also saved the animals in the same way.

[Warkitty]

I speak to the concept that apparently exists that animals won't go to heaven. Whether that idea is biblically supported or not means nothing to me. Those that believe it though believe in a pretty unjust god.

[Police Moderator]

I will only charge you $3.29, pre-paid in advance (Kinda like DOA upon arrival on the scene) to watch all your beer and cigarettes starting the day of the Rapture and ending the day of the Second Coming.

All watching services after the Second Coming is absolutely free of charge.

Included in the $3.29 is a certificate of guarantee that the City Of Chattanooga will begin to provide your earthly remaining property with all the things Mayor Littlefield promised you before you left. Since his next step is to annex part of Heaven, all the property you brought with you is excluded in this deal.

[Justin Thyme]

Feb 17, 2010 19:05:57 GMT -5 Warkitty said:

I speak to the concept that apparently exists that animals won't go to heaven. Whether that idea is biblically supported or not means nothing to me. Those that believe it though believe in a pretty unjust god.

I kind of thought that's what you meant but there are many ideas of heaven and an afterlife even among Christians. I can't help but think that it would be pretty universal, though, among people who believe in God the Creator that He created fish, amphibians, reptiles, birds and all the rest of the mammals right along with man so there has to be something in the afterlife for them. I'm not sure where some people might get a different idea.

[el Gusano]

The Bible tells us that animals have souls.

The Bible tells us there will be animals in heaven.

The Bible tells us that we will be ourselves.

Makes sense that those that we love will be there.

[gridbug]

Feb 17, 2010 19:05:57 GMT -5 Warkitty said:

I speak to the concept that apparently exists that animals won't go to heaven. Whether that idea is biblically supported or not means nothing to me. Those that believe it though believe in a pretty unjust god.

Unjust? This is the God that had a temper tantrum and killed n-2 of every species of animal and virtually all the people. No, you don't get kudos for saving just a few when you're the One that killed ALL the others.