TV grammar Nazi

[Deleted]

What's with Chattanooga television announcers?

Starting about a month ago, a number of them have started saying things like, "The roads, they are..." or "The temperatures, they are ..." or "The cars, they are ..." and so on.

I hadn't noticed such speech patterns until recently. Odd.


It's not on just one channel.

[cadillacdude1975]

enunciation is what gets me going. two of the worst talkers i have ever heard are Jed Mescon and Tom Brokaw. listen to how both pronounce the letter "L". it drives me bananas.

[pictureman]

Weatherman David Glllenn has the same tongue-tied-sounding defect. When all three worked at WRCB I thought maybe that was a job requirement. Why, I didn't know.

[daworm]

If we can rid the airwaves of vee-HICK-els, thee-ATE-ers, JEW-lah-ry, and REE-la-tors, I'd be happy.

[ScarlettP]

I can deal with the accents. I have trouble with incorrect words or bad syntax becoming so common as to be considered correct.

"The car almost run him over." Instead of "The car almost ran over him."

"Will you bring this to work with you?" Said to someone standing next to you. You BRING something toward someone. You TAKE it away from them.

"Light it on fire." Instead of "Set it on fire."

[pictureman]

Not to mention Iran and their noo-cue-ler bombs.

To me, the most annoying is hearing an announcer say Chatt'nooga.

There is still one teevee weatherman who offers the temperature in TRY-on, Georgia, rather than TRYUN (one syllable) as pronouced around here.

Two issues here: 1) the speaker doesn't know any better, and, 2) neither does the news director. And, possibly 3), neither does the TelePrompTer writer.

[JC]

"Will you bring this to work with you?" Said to someone standing next to you. You BRING something toward someone. You TAKE it away from them."

Well, will you be taking it away from work, or towards work?

[Bryan Stone]

well since we're talking TV/radio guys lets kill patrick coorrrree

tonight cold a low of twenty ffiivveeee,... tomorrow a bitter warmer a high of forty oonnnee

for some crappy food joint in Fort Payne I'm WDEF Chief Meteorologist Patrick Coorrrrree

[ScarlettP]

Feb 16, 2010 22:54:28 GMT -5 JC said:

Well, will you be taking it away from work, or towards work?

Am I the only one who has noticed this highly annoying thing? I hear it almost every day, and not just on 'live' or 'reality' TV. Some script writers are using it.

Two people standing together talking. One wishes the other to convey an object from the place where they are to another point away from them. The speaker is not moving in that direction.

Could you bring this over there?
Bring that to him.

ARGH!

If both parties are not currently in the same location, or both are going to the same location, then "Bring" is appropriate. "Can you bring beer to the Notta party?" But not always. Mom should not call Dad on the phone and ask, "Can you bring Sonny to school?", unless Mom is already AT school or plans to be there. It's "Can you take Sonny to school?"

[pictureman]

Since we're making fun of Patrick C., listen this Friday when he predicts the weather for the next day, "Sa'urrday".

And, another thing! How about the way the NBC Today Show people always say, "...we are back right after this break." Shouldn't it be, "...we will be back...?" This annoyance started in the Bryant Gumball era and is still annoying.

[Justin Thyme]

It isn't just Chattanooga. Darryn Moore on WSB just told me a runaway car at an auto auction in Ellijay caused some folks to be taken away in an am-BU-lance.

[Deleted]

> taken away in an am-BU-lance.

Probably after having conferred with the PO-lice.


This topic might be taken to show that it's a lot tougher to be a good announcer than most people think.

NBC national has some fellow of Oriental descent, a fellow with a great voice. It's truly a pleasure to listen to him. Darned if I remember his name, though. Shame on me. I think I first noticed him about three months ago.


Oh, how I miss Rachel Withers.

[LimitedRecourse]

Lave grammar alone...she takes good care of grampar.

[RuneDeer]

Okay, I love Kevin West, really I do, but why does he add an "s" to virtually every name or word that ends with T? Like "Tune in tonights?"

[ScarlettP]

When did Ha-RASS-ment become Hair-ass-ment? Ad-ver-TIES-ment is now Ad-VERT-is-ment?

[Deleted]

Just wait until pecan becomes Carya illinoinensis.

[pictureman]

Rune: Don't know why Kevin West does it, but adding a slight "s" sound to words ending in a "t" especially when that word is the last word in a sentence is commonly heard in the speech of folks from the UK, especially the Liverpool area.

Scarlett: this pronunciation (HAIR-iss-m'nt) is a European English version, and was adopted several years ago by certain media folk during the beginning of the Period of Political Correctness to avoid having to say "her-ASS-m'nt". Same with the name of one of our planets, Uranus, now occasionally pronounced "YOUR-uh-nuss", versus "your-ANUS". And, "ad-VERT-iss-m'nt", is a European English pronunciation and American English affectation.

Yoda, I have no idea what the hell that means, but you sure take a nice picture! Lotta money invested in them teeth, I'll bet.

[cadillacdude1975]

and for the record, it is the Po-leece.

[cadillacdude1975]

maybe this will help decipher some of the locals who do not posses the ability to enunciate.

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.
Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."
Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool.
Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh
bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.
Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.
Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things
gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.
Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is
gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup
truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.
Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in
Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.
HOD - adverb. Not easy.
Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.
Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.
Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.
Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for out rats."

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.
Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN - adjective. Not local.
Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.
Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).
Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE - a question.
Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach Jimmy Johnson recently toured the
University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.
Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

SEED - verb, past tense.
VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun.
Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.
Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.
Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!

[cadillacdude1975]

and a few more......................

Ah: The thing you see with, and the personal pronoun used denoting individuality. "Ah think Ah've got somethin' in mah ah."

Ast: To interrogate or inquire, as when a revenue agent seeks information about illegal moonshine stills. "Don't ast me so many question. It makes me mad."

Attair: Contraction used to indicate the specific item desire. "Pass me attair gravy, please"

Awl: An amber fluid used to lubricate engines. "Ah like attair car, but it sure does take a lot of awl."

Bawl: What water does at 212 degrees Fahrenheit. "That gal cain't even bawl water without burnin' it."

Bleeve: Expression of intent or faith. "Ah bleeve we ought to go to church this Sunday."

Cent: Plural of cent. "You paid five dollars for that necktie? Ah wouldn't give fiddy cent for it."

Co-cola: The soft drink that started in Atlanta and conquered the world. "Ah hear they even sell Co-cola in Russia."

Cyst: To render aid. "Can Ah cyst you with those packages, ma'am."

Dayum: A cuss word Rhett Butler used in "Gone With the Wind." "Frankly,my dear, I don't give a dayum."

Everwhichaways: To be scattered in all directions. "You should have been there when the train hit attair chicken truck. Them chickens flew everwhichaways.

Far: A state of combustion that produces heat and light. "Ah reckon it's about time to put out the far and call in the dawgs."

Flares: The colorful, sweet-smelling part of a plant. "If yo wife's mad at ya, it's smart to take her some flares."

Fur: Measure of distance. "It's a fur piece ta Etlanna."

Fur: Because of or to indicate possession. "Fur yew ta get attair new car yew gotta go see Bubba bout a loan."

Good ole boy: Any Southern male between age 16 and 60 who has an amiable disposition and is fond of boon companions, strong drink, hound dawgs, fishin', huntin', and good lookin' women, but
not necessarily in that order. " Bubba's a good ole boy."

Griyuts: What no Southern breakfast would be without - grits. "Ah like griyuts with butter and sawt on'em, but Ah purely love'em with red-eye gravy."

Hale: Where General Sherman is going for what he did to Etlanna. (Atlanta) "General Sherman said "War is Hale" and he made sure it was."

Hep: to aid or benefit. "Ah can't hep it if Ah'm still in love with you."

Idinit: Term employed by genteel Southerners to avoid saying Ain't. "Mighty hot today, idinit?"

Jew: Did you. "Jew want to buy attair comic book, son, or just stand there and read it here?"

Kumpny: Guests. "Be home on time. We's havin' kumpny for supper."

Law: Police, or as Southerners pronounce it, PO-leece. "We better get outta here. That bartender's doen called the law."

Likker: Whiskey; either the amber kind bought in stores or the homemade white kind that federal authorities frown upon." Does he drink? Listen, he spills more likker than most people drink.'

Mash: To press, as in the case of an elevator button. "Want me to mash yo floor for you, Ma'am?"

Muchablige: Thank you. "muchablige for the lift, mister."

Nawthun: Anything that is not Southern. "He is a classic product of the superior Nawthun educational system." (sarcasm)

Ovair: In that direction. 'Where's yo paw, son?" He's ovair, suh."

Phraisin: Very cold. "Shut that door. It's phraisin in here."

Plum: Completely. "Ah'm plum wore out."

Retch: To grasp for. "The right feilder retch over into the stands and caught the ball."

Saar: The opposite of sweet. "These pickles Sure are saar."

Shovelay: A GM car. "Nobody could drive a Shovelay like Junior Johnson."

Sinner: Exact middle of. "Have you been to the new shoppin' sinner."

Sugar: A kiss. "Come here and give me some sugar."

Tarred: Fatigued. "Ah'm too tarred to go bowlin' nonight."

Tar Arns: A tool employed in changing wheels. "You cain't change a tar without a tar arn."

Uhmurkin: Someone who lives int he United States of Uhmurka. "Thomas Jefferson was a great Uhmurkin."

War: Metal strands attached to posts to enclose domestic animals. "Be careful and don't get stuck on that bob war."

Whup: To beat or to strike. "OOOEEE!!! Yer mama's gonna whup you fer sayin' a cuss word."

Yankee shot: A Southern child's navel. "Momma, what's this on mah belly?" "That's yo Yankee Shot." Zat: Is that. "Zat yo dawg?"

BARD - verb. Past tense of the infinitive "to borrow."

Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

JAWJUH - noun. A highly flammable state just north of Florida.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjah bard my pickup truck."

MUNTS - noun. A calendar division.

Usage: "My brother from Jawjuh bard my pickup truck, and I aint herd from him in munts."

IGNERT - adjective. Not smart. See "Auburn Alumni."

Usage: "Them N-C-TWO-A boys sure are ignert!"

RANCH - noun. A tool.

Usage: "I think I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother from Jawjuh bard a few munts ago."

ALL - noun. A petroleum-based lubricant.

Usage: "I sure hope my brother from Jawjuh puts all in my pickup truck."

FAR - noun. A conflagration.

Usage: "If my brother from Jawjuh doesn't change the all in my pickup truck, that things gonna catch far."

BAHS - noun. A supervisor.

Usage: "If you don't stop reading these Southern words and git back to work, your bahs is gonna far you!"

TAR - noun. A rubber wheel.

Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine from Jawjuh doesn't git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

TIRE - noun. A tall monument.

Usage: "Lord willing and the creeks don't rise, I sure do hope to see that Eifel Tire in Paris sometime."

HOT - noun. A blood-pumping organ.

HOD - adverb. Not easy.

Usage: "A broken hot is hod to fix."

RETARD - Verb. To stop working.

Usage: "My granpaw retard at age 65."

TARRED - adverb. Exhausted.

Usage: "I just flew in from Hot-lanta, and boy my arms are tarred."

RATS - noun. Entitled power or privilege.

Usage: "We Southerners are willing to fight for our rats." (Today's Southern Word comes from a school teacher in America's southern most state: Hawaii. As part of her class's study of the "War of Northern Aggression" (known to Yankees as the "Civil War"), she showed her class the movie Gettysburg. The students wondered why the Confederacy was fighting for their "rats." The answer, of course, is obvious: Southerners have very friendly rats ... in fact, you could almost say that we have some downright civil rats.)

LOT - adjective. Luminescent.

Usage: "I dream of Jeanie in the lot-brown hair."

FARN - adjective. Not local.

Usage: "I cudnt unnerstand a wurd he sed ... must be from some farn country."

DID - adjective. Not alive.

Usage: "He's did, Jim."

EAR - noun. A colorless, odorless gas (unless you are in LA).

Usage: "He can't breathe ... give 'em some ear!"

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.

Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

JU-HERE - a question.

Usage: "Juhere that former Dallas Cowboys' coach, Jimmy Johnson, recently toured the University of Alabama?"

HAZE - a contraction.

Usage: "Is Bubba smart?" "Nah ... haze ignert."

SEED - verb, past tense.

VIEW - contraction: verb and pronoun. Usage: "I ain't never seed New York City ... view?"

HEAVY DEW - phrase. A request for action.

Usage: "Kin I heavy dew me a favor?"

WARSH - verb. To clean.

SQUARSH - noun. A vegetable (also verb - to flatten).

Usage: "Warsh that squarsh, Bubba ... you don't know where its been!"

GUMMIT - Noun. An often-closed bureaucratic institution.

Usage: "Great ... ANOTHER gummit shutdown!"

Cole's Law: Thinly shredded cabbage

[cadillacdude1975]

and now, the medical terms.

The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms

Benign.............................What you be after you be eight.

Artery.............................The study of paintings.

Bacteria...........................Back door to cafeteria.

Barium.............................What doctors do when patients die.

Cesarean Section...................A neighborhood in Rome.

CATscan............................Searching for kitty.

Cauterize..........................Made eye contact with her.

Colic..............................A sheep dog.

Coma...............................A punctuation mark.

D & C..............................Where Washington is.

Dilate.............................To live long.

Enema..............................Not a friend.

Fester.............................Quicker than someone else.

Fibula.............................A small lie.

Genital............................Non-Jewish person.

G.I. Series........................World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail...........................What you hang your coat on.

Impotent...........................Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain.........................Getting hurt at work.

Medical Staff......................A Doctor's cane.

Morbid.............................A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates...........................Cheaper than day rates.

Node...............................I knew it.

Outpatient.........................A person who has fainted.

Pap Smear..........................A fatherhood test.

Pelvis.............................Second cousin to Elvis.

Post Operative.....................A letter carrier.

Recovery Room......................Place to do upholstery.

Rectum.............................Damn near killed him.

Secretion..........................Hiding something.

Seizure............................Roman emperor.

Tablet.............................A small table.

Terminal Illness...................Getting sick at the airport.

Tumor..............................More than one.

Urine..............................Opposite of you're out.

Varicose...........................Near by/close by.

[Deleted]

> > Just wait until pecan becomes Carya illinoinensis.

> I have no idea what the hell that means, …

Using Carya illinoinensis (the Wiki term) avoids the confusion of the four or so pronunciations of pecan.

[Scarlet&Gray]

what about reverse discriminatiom and or irregardelss or you betcha have you ever betted against yourself

[pictureman]

I thought maybe it was a new cooking show...
"Welcome to the Joy of Pee-can Pies, starring Carya Illinoinensis!"

[ScarlettP]

BOB WAR - noun. A sharp, twisted cable.
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bob war fence."

Did I tell you that I actually ASKED my Civics teacher in Junior High (Middle school) what Barbed Wire was because I had never seen it spelled out and had called it "Bob Wire" my entire life?

[gridbug]

Feb 17, 2010 18:38:25 GMT -5 ScarlettP said:

When did Ha-RASS-ment become Hair-ass-ment? Ad-ver-TIES-ment is now Ad-VERT-is-ment?

About the time they realized one can be sued for talking about "her ass"

[Warkitty]

Back in High School, we got a new science teacher that said "irregardless." I told her it wasn't a word so she got a dictionary that listed it to prove she was right. I informed her it might be in the dictionary and hence a good word, but it exhibited terrible grammar and made her sound ignorant.


We didn't really get along.

[Jay]

Usage Note: Irregardless is a word that many mistakenly believe to be correct usage in formal style, when in fact it is used chiefly in nonstandard speech or casual writing. Coined in the United States in the early 20th century, it has met with a blizzard of condemnation for being an improper yoking of irrespective and regardless and for the logical absurdity of combining the negative ir- prefix and -less suffix in a single term. Although one might reasonably argue that it is no different from words with redundant affixes like debone and unravel, it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.

dictionary.reference.com/browse/irregardless

[Justin Thyme]

A blunder is just another way to say it is wrong.

[Jay]

I consider it a blunder.